My Hope is in You Lord

MY HOPE IS IN YOU LORD

In a week of national horror the headlines are discouraging to say the least. Mass murder, rape, and politics can make a person feel hopeless in the face of so much evil.  I admit to feeling fear and sadness as the national events unfold around me. But I choose to place my hope in Jesus and the promises of His word.  Scripture tells me:

1. God has overcome the world.

John 16:33 says, “I have told you these things so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take courage; I have overcome the world!" It goes on to say in 1 John 4:4. “You, little children, are from God and have overcome them, because greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world.” An important reminder that the God I serve is more powerful than the evil I fear.

2. God offers us peace.

In John 14:27 Jesus says, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled; do not be afraid.” God promises a supernatural peace that can only be found through a personal relationship with Him. Philippians 4:7 says, “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”  When I do not understand the evil around me I can rest in the knowledge that God is in control.

3. God speaks to us through His Word.

1 John 2:14 says, “I have written to you, fathers, because you know Him who is from the beginning. I have written to you, young men, because you are strong, and the word of God abides in you, and you have overcome the evil one.” Let’s pause on this verse for a minute and see the sequence – you are strong – (because) the word of God abides in you – (therefore) you have overcome the evil one. Knowing and studying God’s word is an essential part of being strong in the face of evil.

4. God has prepared us for this battle.

Ephesians 6:12-13 says, “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm.”  Ephesians 6 goes on to describe the various pieces of the armor of God that we all need. Take time to study God’s Word and put your full armor on each day.

5. God wins in the end.

Revelation 20:10 says, “And the devil who deceived them was thrown into the lake of fire and brimstone, where the beast and the false prophet are also; and they will be tormented day and night forever and ever.” And to this we simply have to say AMEN!

Precious Father - We are deeply saddened by the tragedies around us. Please be with the victims who have personally experienced the results of evil and for the survivors and loved ones who mourn. May we not be overcome by evil Lord but may we overcome evil with good (Romans 12:21). Amen.

A Timely & Important Topic

I am a repentant, forgiven, redeemed, washed white as snow, recovered porn addict. I am trying to answer God’s call to be transparent. To share a message that will educate women on a biblical perspective on sexuality and empower them to make God-honoring choices. I am also an angry, hurt, and confused woman who has recently been told that I cannot share my message “50 Shades of White: Biblical Sexuality for Women” at an event for which I had been hired to give this talk. This is because the organization had decided they did not want the word “porn” associated with their group.

But this is a timely and important topic that needs to be discussed. Consider the facts. 70% of the men and 30% of the women in America are addicted to porn. Which means if you are not personally addicted you know someone who is – in fact statistically you know several men or women who are struggling in this area. The average American child sees their first porn between the ages of 8 – 10. It is the number one download on smart phones. It is an industry that brings in more revenue annually than professional football, baseball and basketball combined. The porn industry is ravenous and it is looking for more users. Particularly women and especially our children. I am not being alarmist. These are cold, hard facts. Google “pornography addiction” and you will see that I am actually being conservative in the numbers I am using.

As a Christian community we must engage in this conversation. Last year over a dozen churches had the courage to bring me and God’s message to the women in their church. The response before and after these events were overwhelmingly positive. If we as a church do not engage in the hard stuff then we are choosing to forfeit the teaching of right and wrong and the moral standards of our time to the secular culture at large. As parents we need to discuss difficult topics such as pornography with our children though a Biblical filter.

And while we strive to train up our children in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6) we need to remind them as well as ourselves the importance of repentance, confession, forgiveness, and grace. This needs to be an essential part of our personal relationship with Christ as well as our relationship with the community of believers around us. Repentance means I recognize the sin for what it is and ask for forgiveness. Billy Graham once described sin as any word or action that falls short of God’s will.  To be able to recognize sin we have to be grounded in God’s Word.

1 John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” As sinners we so often fall into the trap of ranking sin. Gluttony, padding a resume, telling a little white lie is more socially acceptable than something like pornography. To be able to label someone else’s sin as greater than our own makes us feel better. But in that labeling and finger pointing comes judgement which scripture warns against repeatedly. Roman’s 2:1 says, “You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things (sin).”

Part of our process after we repent, confess, are forgiven and receive grace needs to be a testimony to the work God has done in our lives. Uncovering our hidden sins and shedding God’s light on them defeats Satan and gives God the victory. Revelation 12:11 says, “They triumphed over him (Satan) by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony. . .”

So here is my testimony: I made poor choices that resulted in an addiction to pornography that hurt myself, my marriage, and my family. I repented of that sin and confessed that sin to God, my family and fellow believers. God is faithful and just. He sent his Son to die for my sins on the cross. He forgave my sins and purified me from all unrighteousness. And at every possible opportunity I intend to testify to God’s amazing work in my life and share the message He has placed on my heart, “50 Shades of White: Biblical Sexuality for Women.”

Precious Father – Thank you for loving us enough to send your Son to die on the cross for our sins. Please help us to focus on and recognize our own sin. May we repent, confess, receive your forgiveness and receive and extend grace in return. Lord, when things get tough help us to stay the course and be obedient to your call on our lives. Amen.

Telling His Story

I have the opportunity at the end of July to attend a Christian conference created by women for women who are called by God to speak and write. It is a large investment of time and money. I will know no one, travel by plane to an area of the country I have never been before, and stay by myself in a hotel room for several nights.

I am going because I know nothing about creating a brand, building a platform, having a social media presence, proposing a book, or any of the other things I need to know to reach a larger audience with the message God has placed on my heart.

An info seeker by nature, I just spent 2 hours on a call designed to help us make the most out of our time at the conference. It covered everything from networking and business cards to the elevator pitch and creating a one-page book proposal. I gained pages of notes, resources and information. I also gained a sense of panic (lots to do in the next 6 weeks) and insecurity (who am I to think I have anything to offer).

The facilitator started with a verse I was not familiar with from Psalms 68:11 which says, “The Lord announces the word, and the women who proclaim it are a mighty throng." I do not know the exact number of a "mighty throng" but I am thinking it is a pretty large group. And I believe God has asked me to be part of that group. I am thankful that in God's math He makes room for each one of us to use our gifts and talents for His glory. 

Which brings me to the next point I pulled from the call. The messages I speak, blogs I write and book that may or may not be published someday are not my story. They are not about me. They are God’s story, they are all about Him, and it is entirely up to Him to use them in whatever way He sees fit.

I can choose to focus and worry about what I don’t have that others do such as a finished manuscript, large social media presence etc. Or I can focus on the One whose story I strive to tell and follow where He chooses to lead me.

I need to keep my eyes on Jesus and not on the women around me. There will always be people around me who are smarter or prettier or thinner than me. And at this conference women who are published authors and have thousands of facebook followers. But the same God who used a fugitive to lead the Israelites out of Egypt and planted the church on the backs of uneducated fisherman can certainly use me with all of my flaws to reach women for Christ.  

Precious Father, thank you for the talents and abilities that you give us. May we use them to tell your story and glorify your name. And Lord, may each of us in out own way be part of the mighty throng that proclaims your word. Amen.

Lessons Learned While Sitting Sideways on the Couch - Part 2

6.) HAVE AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 tells us to, “give thanks in all circumstances . . .” The day after I met with my surgeon and found out I had a 4 month recovery process ahead of me I grabbed a notebook and started making a list. I filled the page as I wrote down all the things I had to be thankful for - timing, transportation, medical care, circumstances, care providers, and a supportive family to name a few. On the days that an attitude of gratitude has been challenging a friend or family member has gently (and not so gently when needed) reminded me of the many things I have to be thankful for in the midst of my current situation.

7.) TAKE CARE OF THE TEMPLE. I Corinthians 6:19-20 says, “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit . . . Therefore honor God with your bodies.” If I had taken better care of my body before the accident – healthy diet, weight and exercise – this would have physically been a much easier experience.  I have one body to carry me through this life. How healthy or unhealthy I am is up to me.

8.) FOLLOW DIRECTIONS. From the moment of injury a wide variety of people suddenly had a say in where I went, what I did and how I got there. I was left with two choices. To trust that the experts were right or to decide that Robin knew what was best for Robin. I chose to trust the experts and followed every direction I was given to the letter. I cannot remember ever applying myself so diligently to anything the way I have to recovering from this injury. That discipline allowed me to get out of the monster brace in week 8 instead of week 10. Thank you Jesus!

9.) WALK BEFORE YOU RUN. Getting out of the monster brace early, however, taught me another important lesson. I have to learn to walk again before I can run. Easier said than done when you haven’t walked for 9 weeks. Muscles atrophy, neuro nets are lost, mechanics are forgotten and coordination becomes a thing of the past. I left physical therapy in tears today because I could not figure out how to walk correctly using crutches with both feet on the ground. A door has been opened with the removal of the monster brace. I can shower, do stairs, drive short distances, sit normal in a chair for short periods of time and sleep in my own bed. But other doors are still closed. I cannot do any of the above for long periods of time. I cannot cook or get my own meal, do laundry, run errands, go for a walk, or resume my normal work schedule. I literally have to learn to walk (correctly) and rebuild muscle before I can run.

10.) GIVE GOD THE GLORY. There is chorus from a childhood song I used to sing (with hand motions, of course) that went like this:

Rise and shine and give God the glory, glory.

Rise and shine and give God the glory, glory.

Rise. And. Shine. And. Give God the glory, glory.

Children of the Lord.

I want people to see God at work in my life. I want Him to receive the credit for all that He does in and through my life. This journey I am on? Getting this far? All God. Having an attitude of gratitude – way beyond me on the toughest days. Taking care of the temple – rhubarb is in season (enough said). Following directions – hard, frustrating and difficult. Walking before I run – leaves me in tears. Giving God the glory – my only option because He is the only reason I have made it this far.

Precious Father – To you be all glory and honor and power forever. Amen!

Lesson Learned While Sitting Sideways on the Couch - Part 1

I am 8 weeks into this journey with my knee injury and it is time to share some of the lessons I am learning:

1) ASK FOR HELP. To do this I first had to swallow my pride and admit that I needed help. In fact a lot of help. Meals, rides for our daughter, a helper to sit with me each day that my husband was out of town, errands I could not run, and more. I could not have made it through the last 2 months without the help of friends and family.  But first I had to be vulnerable and share what our needs are which isn’t always easy.

2) LET LOVE IN. My Bible Study ladies have an expression that goes something like this, “Are you going to let love in or let pride stand in the way?” Easy to say but hard to do. Case in point - several people asked if they could move the group to my house to meet so I could attend since I am housebound. I said no because I was embarrassed about the state of my person (unwashed, sweats, no makeup) and the state of my house (total mess). Pride was keeping me from the prayer, fellowship, hugs and people I needed most. The three weeks they met in my house have been a highlight of my convalescence.

3) BOREDOM IS A CHOICE. The days get really long when you have a choice of two couches where you can sit sideways with your leg elevated. You can only watch so many movies, read so many books, and scan Facebook on your phone so many times before you want to climb the walls. So I chose to sort photos, enter receipts, sort through paper piles, plan menus, write letters and thank you notes, have long conversations with good friends, reconnect with old friends, schedule summer vacations, and read my Bible.

4) A CARD COUNTS. Somewhere along the way I had forgotten just how much a card in the mail means. Until they started landing in my mail box. An old college friend who saw it on facebook, a past coworker who saw an email, a dear aunt who has written me once a week for 5 weeks, friends & school moms, church & Bible Study ladies. I find myself eagerly awaiting the mail each day. It takes so little time to send a card but means so much to the person who receives it. I am ashamed to admit that somewhere along the way I had stopped writing them.

5) RELATIONSHIPS MATTER. God created us to journey through life together. To build relationship we have to invest time and energy into the lives of the people around us. Nothing new here I know but very humbling when you see it in action. Friends who barely had enough time to put a meal on their own table made double and fought rush hour traffic to put a meal on our table as well. Women with packed schedules cleared a spot to be my helper for 4-hour blocks of time. Another friend made multiple trips across town with tools to make my life easier. Tools like a wheelchair, then a leg lift, a grabber, and a special body wash. I could go on and on describing the loving help we have received.  My family literally could not have made it through the last 8 weeks without the large number of people who rose up to meet our needs.

Precious Father – Thank you for the lessons I am learning because of my injury. May I always remember to ask for help, let love in, that boredom is a choice, a card counts and relationships matter. Amen.

God's Power is Made Perfect in Weakness

I want my life back. That is what I told my physical therapist this morning when he told me I would be wearing the brace for at least 6 weeks and not the 4 weeks that I had been told originally.  I want to be able to resume normal activities – walking, driving, showering, sleeping in my own bed, going up stairs. I want to sleep on my side and wear something besides leggings, and make a meal, and go to church, and . . and . . . and!

Tomorrow marks 3 weeks since surgery and 7½ weeks since injury. Honestly, the first 6 weeks I was just hunkered down with an “I can do this and it could be worse” attitude. There had been an amazing outpouring of meals, flowers, cards, and visits that made the firsts weeks post-surgery bearable. I definitely felt God’s presence and a powerful amount of prayer. But my focus was really on me and my ability to handle the curve ball that had been thrown at me. I was doing a lot of it in my own power.

Then I reached week 6. And crashed and burned.

It happened in the middle of the night as these things often do. I woke up at 3:33am needing to use the bathroom. I struggled into an upright position half asleep. I had to unbuckle my brace and buckle it back up because it shifts while I sleep. I tried several times to pull myself up to a standing position on one leg and could not get up. Every muscle in my body ached and I did not have the strength to stand on my one good leg. I finally got up, found my balance and crutched to the bathroom. Which is a difficult undertaking when you have to lift the brace & leg through the shower door and put it on the edge of the bath tub (while balancing on one leg) to even be able to use the toilet. So goes the joys of an old house and small bathroom.

I crutched back, collapsed on the bed, and felt sobs well up in me that hurt as they broke the surface. With everything that was in me I cried out to God over and over. And that cry went something like this, “I can’t do this anymore Lord. You have promised that your strength in made perfect in my weakness. I am weak Lord and I need your strength. Please Lord. Please. I need your strength to be made perfect in my weakness.” Over and over the same refrain until I cried myself back to sleep.

2 Corinthians 12:9 says, But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

So today I am boasting about my weakness. It is God’s power resting in me that is going to get me through the next 6 weeks and entire 4 months of this process. I am at the end of Robin. I have no reserves left to make this happen, to hunker down and power through as I did the first 6 weeks. I am bone tired, frustrated, muscle sore and discouraged. Fortunately, the end of me is where God shines best.

Precious Father, Thank you for meeting me in the middle of the night in the middle of my need. Thank you that your grace is sufficient and that your power is made perfect in my weakness. Amen

What Happens When . . ?

What do you do when you realize the hard stuff is going to take longer than expected before it gets easier? What do you do when a door opens and then suddenly slams in your face? What do you do when you receive news that drops your belly to the floor and you can’t quite get it back in position? Maybe it is a health crisis, or a loss of a job, or a broken relationship. Maybe a coveted promotion you didn’t get, or a dream house you didn’t buy or a man who didn’t love you back.

The “hard stuff” is different things to different people depending on who you are, where you come from, and what you have experienced. Right now my hard stuff is this knee injury. It is realizing that 6 weeks in to this I am not even half way through the crutches, the brace, the wheelchair, the physical therapy and the healing process.

I had my post op with the surgeon last week who looked at a very small part of the big picture – the incisions from his surgery – and pronounced it good. He informed me I would no longer have to wear my pressure bandage from my toes to my hip and no longer have to change the sterile dressing on a daily basis. Which is all good and all true. He told me I could unlock the brace to drive short distances and start taking showers. I can’t even tell you the feeling those words gave me! I saw the door swing wide open to freedom, flexibility, more control and regular showers.

Then I went to the physical therapist.

Because of my height and the way that my monster brace fits me I was informed that I can not do stairs or get the brace into a position where I can drive. Which means I am still housebound and can not take showers due to the layout of our house. Technically, I leave the house twice a week for physical therapy but it is a long and arduous process that takes two hours for a one hour appointment and leaves me exhausted. (From the process – not the physical therapy).

Both the surgeon and the physical therapist told me I still had to wear the brace 24/7 and keep my leg elevated for at least the entire 4 weeks following surgery. The key phrase here is at least. Turns out it may be needed longer than 4 weeks. In fact the protocol sheet I was given today for a meniscal repair shows the brace discontinued between 6-12 weeks following surgery.

Now I know everyone heals differently and that all of this is just guess work. But to see the door flung open to more freedom, flexibility, and control and then have it suddenly slam in my face has been one of the hardest parts of this entire process. I got home from those appointments so discouraged and cried off and on for the rest of the day.

Which brings me back to my opening question – “What do you do when?” According to Romans 12:12 we are called to: Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Three important and difficult things that I am unable to do in my own power. Thank God joy is not dependent on circumstances, like happiness, but rather on what Christ has done for me. My NIV study notes describes “patient in affliction” as enduring triumphantly through the inevitable experience of affliction. And faithful in prayer means communication with God at all times.

Precious Father, you have told us that in this world there will be trouble. But you have also told us to take heart because you have overcome the world. Thank you Lord Jesus! May we strive to be joyful in hope, patient in affliction and faithful in prayer. Amen.

Perseverance

Have you ever had an experience where an old, often used word takes on a whole new personal meaning for you? Right now that word for me is perseverance. Merriam-Webster defines perseverance as a continued effort to do or achieve something despite difficulties, failure, or opposition; the action or condition or an instance of persevering.

I have a whole new appreciation for perseverance after 4½ weeks on crutches. I finally had knee surgery last week. Surgery took twice as long as expected and an extra hole was needed to drill through the bone to create a tunnel where they could try to reattach the ripped meniscus in the bone hole they had created. For the surgery to be successful several things need to happen. I need to keep it in a monster brace from my ankle to my hip for 4 weeks 24/7. It needs to be elevated the entire time and iced 50% of the time. And above all I need to make sure that no weight is put on that leg for the entire 4 weeks. It will take all of the above to truly make the surgery successful.

James 1:2-3 says, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” Being housebound, unable to drive, unable to do stairs, unable to shower or take a bath is a trial. Having one couch where I can sit in one position (sideways, leg elevated) and one bed where I can sleep in one position (on my back, leg elevated) is a challenge. But if I persevere and follow all the rules in the end I will have a knee that has healed.

In what area of your life do you need to persevere right now? A job search? Difficult relationship? Health challenge? Weight loss? Finances? School? Children? It may be the next call, next interview, next day, next year before our persevering finally gets the results we are striving for.

Romans 5:3-4 tells us, “. . . but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. I don’t know about you but I want any suffering that I go through to be used for God’s glory. I do not want it to produce bitterness, anger, impatience and hopelessness in me. I want the perseverance, character and hope that Paul writes about in Romans.

Precious Father, I am choosing to thank you once again for this injury. Thank you for slowing me down and giving me more time with friends and family. Thank you for my current situation that is drawing me closer to you. Please help us Lord to seek you earnestly in the trials and suffering we face. May the process and the end result produce more perseverance, character and hope in us. Amen. 

When You Don't Have Control

Friday, March 11 I injured my knee. 4½ weeks later I am finally having surgery. At 48 I have had very little surgery or illness in my life. Tonsils out when I was 5. Wisdom teeth out in college. A cyst removed from my wrist. I do not take my health for granted because too many people around me struggle with serious illness on a daily basis. I thank God regularly for my health and for the incredible health system we have access to in the United States.

In the scheme of things my knee surgery tomorrow is really no big deal. But honestly, to me, it feels huge. And scary. And well . . . kind of like a big deal to me. When I boil down my fears it largely comes down to a lack of control. Every nurse who has contacted me over the last 3 days has asked if I have any trouble with anesthesia. My answer is no. But then how do I know since they were still using ether the last time they put me under in 1973. An honest answer would be yes, because I do not like the idea of not knowing what is going on around me and being at the mercy of someone else for several hours.

One of my most vivid memories of my childhood involves my one and only surgery. My brother and I had our tonsils taken out at the same time. They put us in the same recovery room once the surgeries were completed. I woke up before my brother and remember being cold and scared in a way that only a 5-year-old could be with no adults present. I couldn’t wake up enough to climb down from the gurney to go to him and as I called for him over and over again he did not respond. Honesty, I thought he was dead. The memory is still so vivid today I can remember the color of the walls (yellow), the gown he was wearing (green), the smell (disinfectant) and the abject terror I felt. Dramatic I know but still so real to me 43 years later as I write this.

The outcome of my surgery is also out of my control. There are 2 scenarios once the surgeon operates on my knee. Best possible outcome is a repair. Worst possible outcome is a removal of the meniscus. I have done everything that I can to prepare – prayed, tried to take my thoughts captive (2 Cor. 5:10), contacted my prayer warrior friends, physical therapy, pre-ops, answered emails, returned calls, and a friend lined up meals and transportation for our daughter. But I can not control what happens once they start surgery.

Joshua 1:9 says, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong & courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” And to that, tonight, I simply have to say AMEN!

It Takes a Village . . . to Get Into the Water!

While we were in Hawaii last week I had the privilege of snorkeling in Hanauma Bay. A simple statement but a very complicated process with a knee that can not bear weight and a leg that can not kick. It took a multitude of people to make it happen and my husband was leading the parade, convinced that somehow we could make this work.

Before we left Minnesota the engineer in my husband kicked in and he fashioned sand tips for my crutches. He cut 6-inch circles from steel plates which he bolted to an extra pair of crutch tips. This was to increase the surface area so the crutches would not sink into the sand. They worked exactly as he had hoped.

We contacted a company before our arrival to rent a wheelchair. This company was waiting for us at our hotel when we arrived and added a free scooter to our package for the week. He included tourist information on handicap accessible sites and Hanaumu Bay was one of them.

The Concierge at out hotel connected us with a tour company who could handle my wheelchair and supply the snorkel equipment. The owner of the company called me several times with the details of how we could make this happen and made an extra trip to the beach to bring a flotation device so I could stay afloat without kicking.

A steep, paved hill leads down a crater to the bay below. They had a special golf cart with a ramp where I could roll on and they could lock the wheelchair in place. After getting to the base of the hill we still had a large beach to cross. Enter an all-terrain wheelchair which basically has intertubes for tires so you can cross the sand without sinking. At the water’s edge I switched to the sand crutches so I could get deep enough into the ocean to use the flotation device without putting any weight on my bad knee or kicking that leg. At which point my husband ran the crutches back to the beach and hurried back into the water before the wife who could not kick got carried out to sea. Keep in mind that all of this is happening while I am in a swimsuit and that in none of these circumstances did I look the least bit graceful!

After all that we spent 2 glorious hours snorkeling the bay. My husband held on to me the entire time and pulled me along. Since it is pretty much impossible to move much of anywhere against the force of the ocean waves without kicking. The sun was warm on my back, my husband’s hand firm on my waist, and a myriad of colorful fish swam the reef below me. I felt such peace and contentment floating in the Pacific Ocean that day. My heart was filled with praise for our Creator and for each person who had helped make my time in Hanaumu Bay happen. My husband, the man we rented the wheelchair from, the concierge, the tour company, the van driver, the golf cart driver, the tour company owner, the all-terrain wheelchair people and again my husband. It truly took a village to get me into the water that day!

Precious Father – Thank you for this injury that has truly been a blessing in disguise. Thank you for all the people who united that day around a common goal to get me into the water. Thank you for my new awareness of how difficult the simplest of things can be for those who do not have full use of their limbs. Lord may we all be more sensitive to the needs (visible and invisible) of the people around us and may we be the one to offer a helping hand when needed. Amen.

Glimpses of God

One of the biggest benefits of a bum knee is slowing down enough to see God at work all around me. I was unable to write my blog last week because I was on a trip visiting colleges with our youngest daughter. Planned well before I blew my knee this was our only window to make it happen. Challenging on crutches and in a wheelchair with just the 2 of us. Keep in mind I can not carry luggage or fill a plate in a dining hall line or do a campus tour without a wheelchair.

The first morning at our hotel I hobbled into the dining area on my crutches and sat down while my daughter went to fill our plates. A family was seated a few tables away that included a mom and 5 children. One of the children was in a wheelchair, probably 7 years old, and could not feed herself. 2 more were under the age of 5 and the remaining 2 looked to be young teens. The mom passed the spoon to her oldest daughter and approached my table. She asked if I was traveling alone and could she fill a plate for me. In the middle of all that was involved to feed her family by herself she stopped to ask a stranger if she could help. A glimpse of God to start my day.

We found the admissions office in time for our campus tour. Prior to that my youngest daughter had helped me get in and out of the shower, brought me clothes, brought me breakfast, loaded the luggage and checked us out of our hotel. Although she had been on college visits with her older sister this was the first time she had visited a college where all of the attention was on her as the prospective student. Adding a mom in a wheelchair definitely added to her stress. Especially when our campus tour got caught in the middle of 4000 students rushing to change classes. But you know she never wavered and dug in to do what had to be done. As an almost 17-year-old she served her mama tirelessly without complaint and without attitude. Not just that day but every day of the 3 weeks since the injury occurred. Seeing my daughter rise to the occasion in such a splendid way is definitely seeing a glimpse of God at work in my child.

While she sat in on a 2 hour art history class I settled into a spot at the visitor's center to wait. While I was sitting there I was approached by a college student who was passing by. He introduced himself and asked my name which I told him. He then asked what happened to my leg so I explained. He asked if he could pray for me and I said yes. Then he asked if he could lay his hands on my leg while he prayed. It was getting a little uncomfortable for me at this point but I said yes. That young man sent up such a prayer for healing that I could barely say thanks when he was done. With a smile and handshake he disappeared into the mass of students passing through on their way to the next class. Glimpses of God indeed!

At the end of our college trip I left my youngest visiting my oldest at the college where she is finishing her freshman year. This meant I was driving by myself for 7 hours. Turns out it was to be in pouring (should I pull over to the side) rain for most of the way. I had already figured out it  was pretty much impossible to use crutches or a wheel chair by yourself and hold an umbrella. The 2 times I needed to stop it abruptly stopped raining. Got back in the car, pulled back on to the freeway and it started to pour again. Both times. Thank you God.

Precious Father - May we all slow down enough to clearly catch glimpses of you at work throughout our day. Please use us as a tool for others to see you at work around them. Lord, may we be a blessing to the people around us and may we be blessed in turn. Amen.

Taking a Wrong Step

In the last week I have had x-rays, an MRI and my first cortisone shot. I have seen an orthopedic doctor, orthopedic surgeon and a physical therapist. I have become the proud owner of a large leg brace, crutches and more sore muscles than I knew were possible. Physical therapy, surgery and a recovery that will take 3 months have been added to my calendar. Total process from injury to recovery will be 4 months – an unexpected one-third of my year.

All this because I took a wrong step, tore completely through my meniscus and shredded the area under my knee cap. How I wish it was a better story when people ask me I how I did it. Competing in a kick boxing tournament or chasing a purse snatcher would certainly be less embarrassing and make a more interesting answer than taking a wrong step. Turns out there are lots of ways to take a wrong step aside from the physical one that caused the injury.

My first wrong step was to sink pretty fast and pretty deep into “poor me.”  I am a comfort girl and I did not appreciate the pain, how hard it was to do the most basic of tasks, and how uncomfortable I was especially at night.  I was angry and frustrated with the sudden change to my carefully organized and arranged life. It set me in to a tail spin as I tried to clear my calendar and accept my new circumstances. I was completely overwhelmed as I tried to understand what being sidelined would look like. I couldn’t even figure out how to get in to our house where each entrance has lots of steps. Let alone get my head around an upcoming trip to Hawaii that I had earned and would now be taking on crutches and with a wheel chair.

Second wrong step? Letting myself be overcome by fear. I suddenly found myself with too much time on my hands to think. And to worry. What if I injure the healthy leg that is compensating for the injured one? What if I fall when no one is around and I can’t get up? What if the surgery does not go well and I have chronic knee pain for the rest of my life? Now I know that fear is not from God but I felt a constant undertow of fear eating away at me. I was finding it hard to remember that “fear not” is repeated throughout scripture.

10 days into this adventure I am in a better place. The first 5 days were particularly hard. As I cried all over my husband one morning he told me two good and important things had already come from my injury. I wasn’t quite ready for this yet so he received a somewhat belligerent, “Oh really! Like what?” His reply . . . broke me . . . wide . . . open. “It is forcing you to slow down and take a break from your hectic schedule which you needed. And it is forcing us to quit passing each other and interact more which we needed.”

Did I mention that there are many ways to take a wrong step? My husband pointed out two big ones that had been taken months before the wrong step that damaged my knee. My schedule had been too packed for too long. Some really good opportunities had come my way over the last few years that I had felt called to and had said yes to without letting go of some previous commitments. And my husband and I? Definitely passing each other as his work travel increased and my commitments grew.

I do not know how long all of this would have gone on had I not injured my knee. I don’t know if God caused this to happen because I would not listen or if he allowed it to happen so it could be used for my good. The why doesn’t really matter. What matters is that I seek God earnestly in my circumstances, that I learn from past mistakes and that I take right steps moving forward.

Precious Father – Thank you for the injury that has forced me to slow down. Help me to use this time as a period of reflection and of connection with those around me. Thank you for a husband who speaks truth and holds me while I cry.  May I see you more clearly in the hard stuff than I ever saw you in the easy. Amen

A Sudden Change of Plans

I had a sudden change of plans on Friday. I blew out my knee and am now dependent on the people around me for pretty much everything. A mile long “To Do” list? Out the window. Weekend plans? Seriously compromised. Pride? Given a serious kick. The ability to hug my daughter and fill my hug deficit while she is home for 3 days? Harder than I imagined balancing on crutches.

There is not much I can do for myself when I am on crutches and cannot put any weight on my left knee. Preparing or serving food is out. As it carrying the computer from the dining room table to the couch that has become my new home. Getting up or down the many stairs outside my house and inside my home also requires assistance. Need a phone or a bottle of water, my readers or a book to read? Someone has to be available to bring it to me.

I know a bum knee is really not a big deal. It is painful and inconvenient but doesn’t really matter in the whole scheme of things.  When something unexpected happens I look to see how God is at work. Deuteronomy 31:8 says in part, “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” I believe that God is on the path ahead of me and that nothing that happens in my life is a surprise to him.

I blew my knee at 12:30 on Friday while shopping at the outlet mall with our oldest daughter. We had finished our shopping and were heading back to the car when I felt something snap in my knee and went down. We were right next to a pillar that I was able to grab and not land face first on the cement. My daughter got security, got a wheelchair and was able to drive me home. I already had a doctor’s appointment scheduled at 2:00 that day with an orthopedic doctor to look at my knee which had been bothering me for a couple of weeks. My husband who travels a great deal for work was actually home and able to drive me to my appointment, get a wheelchair and wheel me in. All of this was provided by a God who was clearly at work in my circumstances. This situation would have been a great deal more difficult if I had been alone or my husband was out of town or I did not already have a doctor’s appointment.

Becoming suddenly dependent is humbling. Realizing how incredibly out of shape I am is even more humbling. Crutches take a LOT of muscle and upper body strength to use. Neither of which I have. Being short and carrying extra weight seems to make crutches and especially stairs even more challenging. Words like ashamed and embarrassed come to mind as I sit here tonight with every muscle in my body aching. How could I let myself get this out of shape? I am looking at my knee as a wake-up call to my crazy, hectic, over-scheduled, physically unfit life.

Where do you see God at work in your circumstances? If you can’t see him ask God to reveal himself to you. What can you learn and how can you use these lessons to move forward in a better way? Again, ask God to show you what he wants you to learn. Be prepared to share what God teaches you with people who may find themselves in a similar place down the road. Experiences with infertility, unemployment, illness, adultery, bullying, abuse, addiction and so on can all be used to help someone else when God has brought you through a difficult situation.  Who do you turn to for prayer and support when you have a sudden change of plans? God intended us to build relationships and have a group of people who can pray for us and support us in a variety of ways when needed.

Precious Father – Please help us to see you at work in our lives. Show us what you want us to learn from our circumstances. May we take the time Lord to build relationships that can surround us with prayer and support during challenging times. Thank you for going before us. And thank you for never leaving us or forsaking us. Amen.

What's Lurking Underneath

We hosted 18 people for a fundraising tea in our home on Sunday afternoon. Everything looked beautiful. Vintage linens neatly ironed; three-tiered stands of savory treats, scones and sweets; vintage linens, antique silver and fresh flowers. Handmade, coordinated party favors, menus and name tags. The main floor where the guests gathered looked clean and inviting. The whole thing could have been in a magazine spread. Ok, I just dated myself. I guess I should have said it was Pinterest worthy.

But underneath lurked a different story. The closet door they walked by as they came in the front door? Hiding piles of product from the company where I am employed. The kitchen cabinet as they entered the kitchen? Filled with Christmas cups that have not been switched out for the everyday cups. If they had toured the house they would have seen a messy master bedroom upstairs. Highlights include scrapbooking tubs from a November retreat that are still not unpacked and a craft space where every surface is covered and you can barely get to the work space. In the basement they would have seen a home office where there is only enough floor space cleared to make a path from the door to the printer.

The irony of all this, of course, is that I am an organized person who generally uses my time well and has some great systems in place. I make a “to do” list every day and diligently work my way through it. I train at work on the importance of organizing, creating systems, and time management. One of my speaking topics for my ministry is “Organizing Your Home: From Chaos to Control.” I am passionate about helping women create margin in their life to breathe. But honestly, right now, my life is out of control and I am having trouble catching a breath. Experience has taught me that when there are hidden parts of my house not available for public view they are a symptom of a much bigger problem.

My eating habits are another sign that tells me things are out of control. I made a healthy black bean chili for my family last night and a brownie bite bar for a meeting I had in my home. No time to eat the chili so, yes, I had brownie bites for dinner last night. I can’t even imagine how many Weight Watchers points I consumed! The night before I ate leftover tea food for dinner with an emphasis on the sweet rather than the savory. Eating healthy and exercising takes time. If I am doing neither it is another arrow that points to a life out of balance.

Is stressed, maxed and overwhelmed what God wants for our life? No. Jesus tells us in Matthew 11:28–30, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." A wise friend recently said when you feel pressure you need to ask where it is coming from because this verse tells us it is not coming from God. 

Precious Father, thank you that I can come to you when I am weary and burdened and you will give me rest. Help me to create margin in my life and find my breathing space again. Forgive me when I over schedule and my life spins out of control. Help me to find and use my “best yes” regarding the opportunities that come my way. And Lord may I give my family my best and not what is left over after the rest. Amen.

Connecting the Dots

Where do you see yourself 5 years from now? This question is an ongoing joke between my husband and myself. I am a goal setter and a planner by nature. He is less so. I believe that not setting a goal is like driving 85 miles an hour down the freeway without a steering wheel and hoping you will still get to your destination.

I took a vacation last week because I was working on a goal to get to all 50 states before I turn 50. I am 47 and have 6 states left. We spent last week touring West Virginia, North Carolina and Tennessee. I have Maine, Vermont and New Hampshire left. A lot of my goals right now seem to center around turning 50. In addition to visiting all 50 states the list includes reading the Bible cover-to-cover 5 times and getting to my goal weight.

I have been through the Bible twice with Village School of the Bible. Right now I am doing a daily devotional that will lead me through the Bible in a year. To read through it a total of 5 times I will need to read though the Bible this year, next year and the year I turn 50. It is not an arbitrary goal or an arbitrary number. The intent is for this to become a habit and a daily part of my life over the next three years that continues for the rest of my life.

I want to become more familiar with scripture and be able to connect more of the dots. While reading through Exodus the following verse caught my eye, “You yourselves have seen what I did to Egypt, and how I carried you on eagles wings and brought you to myself.” (Exodus 19:4). On eagles wings caught my attention because I have a Dad who is interested in eagles. Many of his wall hangings and plaques have Isaiah 40:31 on them, “but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” The study notes in my Bible then took me to Psalm 103:5 (so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s). Putting these verses together draws a more complete word picture in my mind.

Reading through the details of the tabernacle in Exodus I found it difficult to truly read every word and not skim or skip the boring parts. Slowing down allowed me to catch three verses that built on the same theme – God will give us the skills and abilities to do what he has called us to do. Exodus 28:3 says, “Tell all the skilled men to whom I have given wisdom in such matters that they are to make garments for Aaron . . .” Exodus 31:2-3 goes on to say, “See, I have chosen Bezalel . . . and I have filled him with the Spirit of God, with skill, ability and knowledge in all kinds of crafts . . .” It finishes with the second half of Exodus 31:6. “Also I have given skill to all the craftsman to make everything I have commanded you.” (Emphasis mine.)

These verses are as important to us today as they were in the building of the tabernacle over 3000 years ago. Struggling as a young mom or an experienced parent? You are the parent God chose for that child and he will give you what you need to parent that child. Called by God to a challenging job? He will equip you with the skills you need to do it.

Lord, thank you for the opportunity to read your word, to soak in your teachings and to connect the dots. Please help us to find and answer your call on our lives trusting that you have given us the skill, ability and knowledge needed. Amen.

My Valentine

During my teen years I worked part time in a flower shop. Various times of the year got a little crazy. Valentine’s Day got a lot crazy. This was during my feminist stage when I had decided I was never going to get married. And that if I got married I was never going to have kids. And if I had kids I was never going to stay home with them. When I was a teenager “never” entered my vocabulary a lot.

God, however, had a very different plan for my life. I write this today as a married woman of 22 years, mother to 2 beautiful daughters (16 & 18), and as an owner of a business that allowed me to work from home so I could be a stay-at-home mom.  Not what I had planned but so much better than I could have imagined.

My husband and I met during a summer job in college. Our relationship started slow and built steadily over a 5 year period. We dated 2½ years in college and 2½ years by airplane between Minneapolis (his first job) and Los Angeles (my first job.) We married in the small Midwest town where I grew up and set up house together in LA.

We have worked through little issues (toilet paper over or under) and big (different religious backgrounds) to get where we are today. Having a wife who is a recovering porn addict is one of the big ones. My addiction was not easy on our marriage or on my husband. Having a wife who is called into public ministry with her story makes it even harder. When I asked him for forgiveness he gave it. When I answered God’s call he supported it. Is it no wonder, then, that after 22 years of marriage he is still the person with whom I most want to spend time? Which brings me to this Valentine’s Day.

I have always been a stickler for celebrating any holiday on the actual holiday. No celebrating the Friday or Saturday before or after (or whenever it is convenient) for me. My husband just accepts this as a quirk in my personality. But this year was different because he had the next day, President’s Day, off. Deciding between a 2-hour dinner at a favorite restaurant on Valentine’s Day or an entire day together the day after was not a hard decision to make.

We talked about ourselves, our girls, our families, our jobs, our calendars, politics & current events, an upcoming vacation. We unplugged and spent 12 uninterrupted hours together.  We hiked around some frozen water falls, walked an ice-covered beach, ate some great food and browsed a few shops. For one day we chose to stop the merry-go-round and get off together hand-in-hand. (OK that last sentence leans toward sappy but it expresses how I feel). This Valentine’s Day I thank God for a husband who loves me for who I was, who I am, and who I am going to be.

Precious Father – Thank you for the gift of my husband. And thank you for the gift of our day away. Help us to carve out time to connect in meaningful ways, on a regular basis, in the midst of our busy schedules. Amen.

Kindness & Encouragement

Kindness & encouragement can come from the most unexpected places. A taxi driver, an airport employee, a front desk clerk at a hotel, a coworker at a conference, a letter in the mail, a text from a friend. Over the last few days the people I just listed have shown me a kindness and encouraged me in ways that have made an impact deeper than they could have imagined. God used them to give me just what I needed when I needed it most.

Let’s start with the letter. It was one of those xeroxed holiday letters that we all send every year. This friend, however, chooses to send hers throughout the year and takes time to write a personal note on the back. We are not facebook friends which means she took the time to look up my website, read my blog and encourage me in my new ministry. It is a note I will keep and read again.

The letter came just before I left for a 3-day conference in Chicago. The conference was for the direct sales company I work for and leaders attend from all over the country. I was approached by women from Iowa, California, Colorado and Wisconsin who were so supportive of my ministry and read my blog each week. I had no idea they were even reading it. They carved time out of their hectic conference schedule to share simple words and great hugs that meant so much to me.

Next up – the taxi driver. After the conference I had the privilege of spending 24 hours with our oldest daughter who is away at college. As we left the hotel and climbed into the taxi I told the driver that I was sorry but I would soon be crying in the back seat of his cab. I explained that I loved my daughter and would be leaving her and that it was hard. After we dropped her the tears came. The taxi driver turned to me and said in heavily accented English, “I understand. I have 4 daughters. They are a gift from God.” What a gift those words were from that man at that moment! With those words he brought the very presence of God into the taxi with us.

Arriving at the airport I was pretty sure I had overstuffed my bag. Tired and close to tears I put it on the scale prepared to rearrange items as needed. It weighed in at 51.2 pounds. The airport employee looked at me, smiled, winked and said “It looks like 49 pounds to me.” Thank you Jesus!

I Thessalonians 5:11 says, “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” The note, the text, the hug and the words. Simple acts really that made a huge impact on this recipient. We are commanded in Colossians 3:12 as God’s chosen people, who are holy & dearly loved, to clothe ourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. How can you show a kindness or give some encouragement to the people God places in your path today?

Precious Father, please open my eyes to the people I come in contact with each day. Help me to do a kindness, offer a word of encouragement, and be a blessing to the people around me. Thank you for the encouragers in my life. Amen.

When Fear & Doubts Overwhelm You

My ministry tends to move forward in fits and starts. I think this may be God being kind to me. Too much at one time and I can tend to shut down. Every time I get comfortable and settle in to where I am God opens another door. Since I have promised that when God opens a door I will walk through it that generally means I am about to get uncomfortable. Not one of my favorite things.

My most recent experience with this was joining an online writing group for bloggers who want to make an impact for Christ. I had found out about this group last summer and had waited months to be able to join. The group offers a mountain of information and training in areas that I need to strengthen to make my ministry more effective.

Something that should have been easy took an entire morning and became a huge challenge. The computer was acting up. The credit card for my ministry didn’t work because I had forgotten to activate it. By the time I finally figured out how to set up my profile with a picture it loaded sideways. Profile completed I could not figure out how to post to introduce myself to the group. (Have I mentioned that technology is not one of my strong points?) Three hours after I logged on I finally posted.

During that interminable 3 hours I prayed, I cried in sheer frustration, and I paced around the house talking out loud to myself. I sat with my head in my hands in utter defeat and wept. By the end my hair was literally standing straight up because I had been pulling on it off and on all morning.

I was raised with a pretty healthy self-image and a strong appreciation for the power of the written and spoken word. I found myself saying things I never would have imagined crossing my lips. I’m stupid. I’m too dumb to figure this out. Why did I ever think I could do this? I will never be able to figure out the technology and social media needed to get my message out to a wider audience. Every fear and doubt I have ever had about my ability to do the ministry God has called me to completely overwhelmed me that morning.

On the surface it looked like I had completely over-reacted to what was happening. However, towards the end of that awful morning I finally realized that Satan had found a chink in my armor and had rushed in to take advantage of it.  Fear and doubt and beating myself up is not from God. Joshua 1:9 says, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Deuteronomy 1:21 & 31:8, Joshua 8:1 & 10:25, I Chronicles 22:13, 28:20 & 32:7 all repeat the same message which must mean it is pretty important.

This ministry is clearly from God and he will give me everything I need when I need it to accomplish what he wants me to do. Ephesians 2:10 says, “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

It may be through a resource that will teach me how to do it myself or he may bring someone alongside me who already knows how to do it. My job is to seek his will and answer his call trusting that he will give me what I need when I need it to keep moving forward.

In what area of your life do you feel God’s call? In what areas do you feel unprepared or unqualified to step out of your comfort zone? When fear and doubts overwhelm you weed out the lies that Satan is feeding you and plant the truth of God’s word instead.

Precious Father, Thank you for the challenges that makes us stronger. Thank you for preparing our way in advance to do good works. Help us Lord to be strong & courageous. May we not be afraid or discouraged since you have promised to be with us wherever we go.  Amen

"It is Written"

Webster defines temptation as something that causes a strong urge or desire to have or do something and especially something that is bad, wrong, or unwise. In our humanness we may be tempted to lie to an employer, cheat on an exam, gossip about a neighbor, loose our temper, or give in to pride, lust or greed.

In Mathew 4:1-11 Jesus spends 40 days and nights fasting in the desert. At the end of the 40 days the devil comes to him and offers him 3 different temptations. What stood out to me this time is how each temptation affects more people. The first is a private temptation that would be witnessed only by Jesus and the devil – turn these stones into bread. The second would affect the angels who would be called on to rescue Jesus if he threw himself from the highest point of the temple. And the third would affect all the kingdoms of the world if Jesus chose to bow down and worship the devil.

I think it is safe to assume that after 40 days and nights Jesus is weak, tired, hungry and lonely. In fact verse 11 tells us that after the devil left him the angels came and attended to him. At a key time in his life, right after being baptized and before starting his public ministry, Jesus relies on the word of God as the response to every temptation placed before him.

To each temptation Jesus replies “It is written” and follows that statement by quoting scripture. As someone who has given into temptation and who continues to be tempted in different areas of my life these verses bring tears to my eyes. First because God loved me enough to send his Son to dwell among us in human form. And second that his Son was willing to be tempted by the tempter himself to show me that truly, “No temptation has overtaken me except what is common to man. God is faithful; he will not let me be tempted beyond what I can bear. But when I am tempted, he will also provide a way out.” (1 Corinthians 10:13 paraphrase).

Part of that “way out” is a knowledge of what God’s word says. “It is written” is the answer to everything. How could I have gotten this far and truly not understood this? Or at least not been convicted enough to make God and his word the top priority in my life day in and day out? Hebrews 4:12–13 says, “For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.”

Precious Father, thank you that your word is still alive and active today and sharper than a double-edged sword. Thank you for being a God that is all-knowing so that everything I do is laid bare before your eyes. Thank you for a renewed passion for your word Lord. Amen.

Pieces, Parts & People

Today marks my 20th Transparent Tuesday blog. Some weeks it flows easily and practically writes itself. Other weeks it is slow and painful and each word is hard to write. I am still trying to figure out my “voice” and my style and connect weekly with what God wants me to write. Sometimes it sneaks up on me – how can it possibly be 7:00 on Tuesday night? Other times I think about it throughout the week and it is already written in my head before I sit down at the computer.

Thank you for reading it. I know it is sometimes rough around the edges. I will be the first person to admit I have no idea what I am doing. Fortunately, God has surrounded me with people who can help me figure it out. God brought me out of an addiction to pornography. Which gives me a responsibility to share and testify to what God has done in my life. He lined up the right people at the right time to give me an opportunity to share my story with others.

The right people at the right time meant putting me on a women’s leadership team 2 years before God delivered me from my addiction and into public ministry. It meant building relationship with a women’s retreat team that trusted God could deliver a sensitive and timely message through me when it was time.

Looking back I can clearly see how God used parts of my past to prepare me for this ministry. Over the last 15 years I worked for a direct sales company where I personally held over 1500 parties. This experience taught me how to work with a large variety of women, get comfortable speaking in front of a group, prepare educational materials, and build relationships. Today it gives me the flexibility and income to pursue my ministry.

Over the same 15-year period I had the opportunity to lead women’s Bible studies at various churches. Doing this deepened my knowledge and created a passion for women’s ministry. Over the last 7 years God was especially gracious in allowing me to stay with the same group of Bible study ladies who pray, support and encourage me every step of the way. They are my guinea pigs as I write new material and are honest in their feedback and suggestions.

Two of the women in my Bible study have the skills, talent and willingness to do hands-on work. One is especially talented in creating a power point that adds to the message I am trying to share. The other was able to design a website, business card and brochure that visually enhances what I am trying to do. Her husband was willing to sit in on one of my talks, gave great feedback from a male perspective and created the Living the Life Transparent logo.

And in God’s perfect timing my teen daughters were able not only to hear the truth behind my new ministry but also to become 2 of my biggest cheerleaders. I could go on and on about the pieces, parts and people that have brought me here today writing a blog for a ministry I could not have imagined. But I will stop here and ask – how can God use the pieces, parts and people of your past to make a difference in the lives of the people you come in contact with today? God placed you on this earth for “such a time as this” (Esther 4:14).

Please join me in praying: Precious Father, Thank you for the experiences that have made me who I am today. Please give me wisdom and discernment to know why you have placed me here for such a time as this. Help me to seek earnestly after you and steep myself in your Word. Amen